Winds of Fate
by Elly3981
Summary: A collection of drabbles and one-shots surrounding the thoughts and relationships of the Servants and Masters of FSN before, during, and after the Holy Grail Wars. Will be based on all 3 routes of the VN as well as animes and manga.
1. Loyal Servant, True Friend

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fate/Stay Night or any of the other Fate series; they are owned by Type Moon. This story follows the Fate route of the visual novel and centers around Shirou and Saber through the memories of Rin, taking place many years after FSN. On a note, I chose to portray Saber as a queen instead of a king in disguise which I felt would have made the VN and anime more interesting. Just my opinion so enjoy and please review! ;)**

**Loyal Servant, True Friend**

It was the beginning of a beautiful new day in Fuyuki City; the leaves had returned to the trees and the flowers had begun to blossom, signaling the end of winter and the beginning of spring. The birds had also returned, filling the city streets and nearby hills with their sweet songs. It was springs like these that made even the bleakest of places look brighter and more beautiful. The thought had crossed the mind of a raven-haired woman slightly past her youth and approaching her prime as she made her way to the town cemetery, a place she had not visited, in fact, avoided for years since her parents died for though she loved them dearly, she did not want to be reminded of the pain of their loss.

But today, the woman had to make an exception for in addition to paying respects to her late parents, she must also pay respects to two friends dear to her heart whom she felt left this world far too soon. As she approached a fairly new grave, the woman gently placed the bouquet of flowers she had been carrying on top of it.

"I'm here, Shirou, Saber", the woman quietly called out to the friends she hoped somewhere could hear her.

Rin Tohsaka kneeled before the grave to say a silent prayer for her friends. Though she addressed both of them, only one of their graves was actually in this cemetery; the grave of the other was far away in her native country of Britain. But it did not matter, she would honor both of them just the same. Though it had been many years since Saber had left the human world, Rin had lost Shirou only recently; he was never quite the same after losing his first and only love, an extraordinary woman who was not of this world. Yet, he forced himself to move on and live his life the way he was sure she would have wanted. As he matured, Rin noticed that Shirou started to resemble her previous Servant, Archer, as well as becoming more skilled in exercising his unique magical talents and abilities- under her tutelage of course. And as the years went by, Shirou also caught the eye of many a woman and girl but never noticed any of them and Rin knew the reason.

Saber.

Or as history remembers her, Queen Auturia Pendragon, the great and first sole-female ruler of Britain. Growing up, both Rin and Shirou heard the legends about the famous daughter of Uther Pendragon but never imagined that the legendary warrior-queen was a petite girl barely taller than Rin herself. But then again, it should not have been a surprise since there was no photography in Saber's day and people in the modern world only have descriptions of ancient and medieval rulers by historians of their time to go by. And these descriptions were often either exaggerated or nothing like how the person actually was or looked. Rin had suspicions and was skeptical herself at first until she saw Saber's noble phantasm which erased all doubt from her mind. The beautiful queen was indeed a great and powerful warrior but deep down, she yearned for the life of a normal woman while bearing the responsibility of ruling a country and protecting her people so it wasn't hard for Rin to see why Shirou fell in love with her.

Once she realized this, Rin tried to discourage the two from getting too close, not because she was jealous, but because she knew a love like theirs could only end in tragedy and cause them both pain for Saber was no longer human, but a spirit who could remain in this world only until her duty as a Servant had been fulfilled or only if her master could continue to supply her with mana indefinitely which would have placed a great strain on Shirou's body and possibly cause him life-long pain which both of them was fully aware of. But Rin knew her efforts, even done out of good intent and concern for her two friends, was futile. And as she predicted, Saber's departure from the human world did cause Shirou great sadness even though he did his best to hide it and immersed himself in his magical training to distract others from that fact. But he could not fool Rin; she had gotten to know him a little too well by that time.

Brushing aside the dust that had begun to gather on the simple grave, Rin smiled sadly. "Shirou… I know it hasn't been easy living without her all these years. But now your wait is finally over and I hope you are both somewhere you can be happy and never forced to part again. Wherever you are, please know that you still have friends in this world who care for and miss you both dearly, including me…" As she said this, Rin wiped a tear from her eye. As his friend and the one who tutored him in the ways of magic, Rin had grown very fond of Shirou, even thinking that she might have been in love with him herself at one time, seeing how he reminded her so much of Archer, but never allowed herself to act on her feelings for she knew that Shirou's heart was and always would be with Saber as he stayed loyal to her for the rest of his mortal life as well as his existence as a heroic spirit.

Like he promised his adoptive father, Shirou used his powers and gifts for the benefit of humankind, even going so far as to sacrifice his life as a human to become a heroic spirit himself, fighting alongside Rin as her Servant in the 6th and final Holy Grail War. And though she never questioned him about it, Rin always felt that one of the reasons Shirou did so was to make up for the fact that she had sacrificed her previous Servant to save him and Saber in the 5th war as well as her own chance of winning the grail for herself, something she had spent ten years of her life preparing for. But after she had learned the true nature of the so-called holy vessel, Rin finally realized that it was not what she thought it was and agreed with her two friends that it had to be destroyed. And while Saber had seemingly destroyed the grail twice, it was Shirou who finally erased its existence from the world for good- that was to be his final duty to humankind.

After they had won the last grail war together, Rin found herself wishing that Shirou would stay with her but knew that was not what he himself wanted. Like Saber before him, Rin knew that if she truly cared for Shirou, she must honor his wishes and let him go, the same as he had done for his first love almost two decades prior, and after wishing him a final farewell, sadly watched as vanished from the world and her life forever. He was thirty-four years old, the same age his adoptive father had been when he passed away.

When he left the human world, Shirou Emiya left nothing behind as proof that he ever existed except in the memories of his friends and the people whose lives he saved and changed, including Rin herself. She knew his body was not actually in the grave, it was only a symbolic marker she had placed there in his memory and honor so that she would never forget the dear friend she had lost. But Rin knew it was for the best; after everything Shirou and Saber had been through in their mortal lives, she felt that nobody deserved to be happy more than those two and hoped that wherever they are now, they were.

After saying another quick prayer for her dear, departed friends, Rin finally stood up and looked toward the sky as she thought.

"Good-bye Shirou...Saber… be happy…"

**A/N: My first FSN fic finally done! I've been a fan of this series since I saw the 2006 anime version of FSN but was never able to think of any stories for it until now **** After playing all three routes of the VN and watching every anime adaption up to date as well as reading the manga, I've finally got some ideas **** I want my readers to know that this will be an on-going project for me and I will continue to add new stories as more ideas come to me in the future and they can be from any of the VN routes, manga, anime etc. I will try to stay as canon as possible with a few minor changes to make my stories work and if I can think of any, I'll throw in a couple of AU stories as well **


	2. Temptation

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fate/Stay Night or any of the Fate series; they are all property of Type Moon. I write this for your enjoyment only and I hope you like it This fic is based on the Fate route of the VN and takes place the night Shirou confesses his feelings to Saber. Those who played the VN will remember this moment between them as much more intimate then in the anime. There will be spoilers so if you have not seen at least episode 22-23 of the anime or played the Fate route of the VN, I suggest you read no further.**

**Temptation**

Saber slowly opened her eyes as she felt the soft light of the moon touch her eyelids. Though she knew it was still not yet morning, the young queen had a tendency to wake in the middle of the night sometimes, a habit from her mortal life that never went away completely, even after she became a heroic spirit. During her time as Queen of Britain, Saber often had sleepless nights where she worried and thought about how to protect her country and her people from foreign invaders as well as enemies from within. And even though she knew times have changed, Saber still found herself unable to sleep the whole night through when she had something on her mind.

Or in this case, someone.

From her sleeping position on the futon, Saber turned slightly to the peacefully sleeping form of the young man next to her and found her cheeks turning red as memories from only a few hours before came back to her. If she had any doubts or assumptions that she only dreamed what they had shared earlier, they were gone now; both of them were completely bare under the sheets with her lover still fast asleep, his breathing calm and even. Saber could not help but smile as she admired the lean and muscular body of her Master and lover. When she made the pact with Shirou only weeks before, she never imagined their relationship would snowball into something like this and could not help but wonder what her previous Master, Kiritsugu Emiya, would think if he saw what kind of relationship she now had with his son. It wasn't like Saber to lose her head over a man for when she was mortal, her life was consumed with duties, responsibilities, and obligations to her country as their ruler. Never once did she think of her own happiness and never did she feel more like a woman then she did now.

_All your life, you lived for your country and your people. You've already done enough, more than could be expected of anyone. If we win the grail, I want you to stay here and live for yourself, find what makes you happy…_

Shirou's words came back to Saber as she gently stroked his soft auburn hair. The boy was the first person to look at her, care for her, as a human being and not just a tool to win the Holy Grail or a protective, distant ruler as she had been seen by her subjects during her lifetime. For the first time in her entire existence, someone actually wanted her to be happy and that was finally what opened her steel-plated heart for the first time in ages, that someone actually wanted to give to _her_, the one who always gave so much of herself without asking for anything in return. Saber knew that Shirou couldn't stand the fact that she had been exploited and in a sense, abused by her country and people who threw her away when she could no longer serve their purpose and for the first time ever, the young queen found herself questioning her desire for the Holy Grail and whether winning it to alter her past was what she really wanted.

_Everything happens for a reason, Saber…_

Oh how she wanted to believe that and there were many a time Saber wished she had never been born the daughter of a king. But she also knew that if she hadn't led the life she had and become a Servant after her death, she would have never met Shirou and fallen in love, a luxury that was denied to her when she was queen. Perhaps he was right, changing what happened centuries ago wasn't worth losing what she had now. It was because of her Master that Saber finally realized that she had been living in the past for far too long and now it was time to let it go and move on.

_But why give up now when you are so close, Arturia? _

Saber gasped softly at the mysterious voice that called her true name and seemed to speak directly into her mind for there was no one else inside the room but Shirou and herself. Taking care not to wake her lover, the young queen answered the voice in her thoughts as she somehow knew she did not have to speak her answer to be heard.

_Who is it? What do you want from me?_

_Oh, come now, my queen, I would think you know me well…_

If Caster wasn't already dead, Saber would think the magical Servant was trying to mess with her mind but since she had witnessed Caster's death firsthand, there was only one other possibility…

_You are the Holy Grail…_

_Correct… it's been what? Ten years since your last Master tried to have you destroy me?_

_It was not of my own free will; you should know that._

_Yes, I am aware. What I am offering you is the second chance you've been seeking._

_I don't understand. What do you mean?_

_Exactly what I said. I'll grant your wish... if you'll sacrifice that young man before you…_

_No! I could never! I… I love Shirou!_

_Yes, and if you are lucky, you can watch him grow old and die. Why subject yourself to such torment? Wasn't your whole life enough? End his life now, and I'll give you yours back, the life you've always wanted for yourself…_

Saber's eyes widened as the grail's words pierced her like knife. What it said was true; because Saber was a heroic spirit given temporary human form, she could not grow old with Shirou even if he managed, by some miracle of God, to keep her in this world. Unlike their Masters, Servants do not age since they are no longer human; they would always look the age they were when they passed away as mortals and became heroic spirits. If she remained with Shirou, Saber would be forced to watch him age and die while she lived on, youthful and unchanging, a young maiden of seventeen for all eternity. It wouldn't be fair to either of them, and certainly not to Shirou; it would be unfair for the boy she loved to be with someone who could never grow old with him or bear him children, another price Servants paid for their supernatural powers.

_Now do you see? He'll never let you go if you allow him to live. Take your sword, Arturia, and drive it through his heart. Make it swift and he won't suffer. And you will finally be free. Isn't his life a small price to pay for yours? After all, he is unworthy of you, you who ruled a great nation centuries before he was born..._

_No…_

_What?_

_You heard me! I will not kill Shirou! Not even to save myself! So begone!_

There was a moment of silence in her mind before the grail answered Saber in what she felt was a tone of displeasure.

_Very well, Arturia. Just know that you will regret your choice, oh Queen of Britain!_

_No… I will not. Not ever…_

Saber held her breath as she waited for the grail's response but when she heard nothing more, she knew it was truly gone. The warrior-queen was no fool; she knew the grail had been trying to tempt her when it realized that she was reconsidering her true desires but Saber was stronger than that. It was also then that Saber realized that the grail may not be what she thought it was if it was trying to tempt her into killing her Master.

As a thousand thoughts whirled inside her head, Saber felt her lover's arms around her as he subconsciously reached for her in his sleep. Upon looking at Shirou's handsome and peacefully sleeping face, she found herself smiling as sleep started to claim her once more. Maybe what the grail said was true but for now, the young queen choose to cherish every moment she had with her love and would allow nothing to take that away from her.

**A/N: Ok, my second fic down. What do you think of this one? I felt inspired to write it after seeing episode 21-22 of the 2006 FSN anime again. It may not be possibly canon since the Holy Grail is an inanimate object that cannot actually speak but I felt it would be interesting to write. **


	3. A Shocking Truth

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fate/Stay Night or any of the Fate Series; they are all property of Type Moon. I write this for your enjoyment only. This fic is based on a scene in the UBW route of the visual novel and will contain spoilers so I advise you read no further if you have not played the VN, saw the movie, or the anime version of UBW. That said, enjoy and please review! ;)**

**A Shocking Truth**

"Mmmm…" Rin groaned as she slowly opened her eyes. Upon awakening, she found herself bound hand and foot to a less then comfortable wooden chair in an attic of what appeared to be Einzbern Castle which was now in ruins and abandoned due to the battle between Gilgamesh and Berserker as well as the passing of the castle's mistress. If it wasn't for her pounding headache, a side-effect of Archer's sleeping spell, Rin would have thought she was dreaming this entire ordeal.

No such luck.

Turning her head, the young magus saw her ex-Servant sitting silently in a corner of the room, not far away from herself and to her amazement, he actually appeared to be sulking. Upon noticing her awake, he managed a ghost of a smile.

"So you've come to, Rin…"

"Archer!" she cried. If she hadn't already known she was at Einzbern Castle, probably as bait for Shirou, she would have demanded to know where she was as well as why he brought her here. And since she already knew the answers to those questions, Rin asked him a different one.

"Why are you doing this?" she demanded, her eyes narrowing. "Ever since we met, I notice you've been obsessed with killing Shirou, and not for the Holy Grail either; you've clearly shown that you have no interest in it whatsoever. What quarrel could you possibly have with him? Has he wronged you in some way?"

The white-haired Servant looked at her in silence for a moment as if contemplating on how to answer her question. "More than you can imagine" he answered quietly. "And he's soft. With guys like that the sooner they go, the better."

Rin looked at her ex-Servant incredulously, as if that was the last answer she expected to hear. Just because Shirou was soft? He certainly wasn't the only one. If Archer truly believed what he had just said, he would have probably gone around killing anyone who was 'soft' as he put it, including herself, when she chose to save the Master of Saber who was supposed to be their enemy. However, instead of calling him out on his lie, Rin decided to try humoring him.

"I know he's soft…" she began gently. "But in a strange way, that's his strength. At first, I also hated that quality in him but then I came to accept it. And when I decided to believe that people like him do exist in this world, I felt like I've been saved in some strange way."

Upon hearing his ex-Master's answer, Archer got up and walked over to her. Any normal person would have been frightened and intimidated by his size but somehow, Rin felt that even now, he still would not harm her. After all, he did convince Caster to spare her's as well as Shirou's lives earlier. Rin watched as Archer came closer and got down on one knee so that he was level with her sitting position on the chair and looked straight into her green eyes with his own grey ones. This was not the first time she had been this physically close to Archer but for some reason, Rin couldn't help feeling nervous this time and it wasn't out of fear of being harmed but something else she couldn't quite name.

"Rin… answer me this: why do you try so hard to protect Shirou even when you know he's supposed to be our enemy? I am not blind, I know you never intended to kill him no matter what you've told me before. If you had, he would have been dead by now. You've also tried to stop me from killing him."

Rin was started at Archer's unexpected question and if that wasn't enough, his next one was even more shocking.

"Do you love him?"

The young magus stared at her ex-Servant as if he had just struck her which he may as well have. "Wh…why do you ask me that?"

"Do you?"

"I… I…" Rin found herself at a loss for words. This was the last question she would ever expect to hear from Archer.

"I'm waiting, Rin."

"No… I… I don't know!" she blurted, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

Archer raised an eyebrow. "Lying doesn't become you, Rin… I know both of you better than you think." As he said this, he took her face in his large, yet incredibly elegant hand with its long, tapering fingers, lifted her chin, and forced her to look into his piercing steel-grey eyes. Rin was surprised at how gentle Archer could be when he chose.

"My God, who _are_ you?" she whispered. Her ex-Servant did not answer and merely gazed at her as if that would answer her question. Then it suddenly hit Rin that no words need to be spoken; the answer to her question was right before her eyes. She could not see it before due to their differences in height, skin, hair, and eye color but looking at Archer this close-up made her realize that he and Shirou had the _exact same face_.

"Shirou…" she whispered.

The Servant's eyes softened and he smiled but it was not his usual cynical smile when he was being patronizing or sarcastic. For the first time, Rin did not see any hints of bitterness on his face but genuine sadness and regret. The evidence was right before her eyes but Rin still could not bring herself to believe it.

"Why? What happened to make you so?"

"You still haven't answered my question, Rin."

"Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to? You have his memories… memories of me."

"I want to hear it from your own mouth."

"Yes… yes, I do love him."

"And for that love, will you continue to follow him? Even if he were to lead you and himself on the path of destruction?"

Rin tried to turn her head away to avoid Archer's questioning eyes but he held her firmly. "I refuse to answer" she said simply, not realizing that her refusal in itself was an answer.

"I see… I know now what I must do. I am sorry, Rin, but this is for the best. For both of you."

"Archer…" she began but her words were cut off by the sound of the door opening. Turning, the pair saw Shinji Matou enter the room accompanied by a tall, blond man who was without a doubt, his new Servant, the same one who murdered the former child-mistress of the castle, Illyasviel Von Einzbern.

Upon seeing the new pair enter the room, Archer let go of Rin's face and stood up to face the uninvited guests.

"Shinji!" Rin cried, her voice and expression laced with displeasure at seeing her classmate and enemy magus.

The purple-haired boy grinned at her, a smug look on his face. Apparently his attitude has changed now that he had an even more powerful Servant at his disposal then his previous one.

"Well, Rin, we meet again" he greeted cheerfully.

Archer scowled in displeasure at the boy and his blonde Servant.

"What's wrong, Archer?" Shinji taunted "Does the sight of my new Servant, Gilgamesh make you tremble?"

Ignoring the other Servant, Archer demanded, "What are you after? Rin?" He need not even ask; he was well aware of the boy's obsession with his former Master.

"Of course! Why else would anyone come to this dreary place?"

Taking another look at Rin, Archer said "Fine. I'll give her to you. But only after I deal with that fool, Emiya, and not before." He shot Gilgamesh a look as if daring him to challenge his statement. "Do you have a problem with that?"

The blond Servant shot him a look that told him he could care less. "What an amusing puppet" he sneered.

Although he tried his best not to show it, Shinji feared the Servants may start fighting and he couldn't have that, not just yet.

"Now, now, settle down" he began as he stepped between the two. "No need for this, Archer will soon disappear anyway."

Gilgamesh snickered as if the other Servant was beneath his notice and contempt.

"Yeah, whatever" he sneered again as he turned his back and walked out of the room with Shinji following suit, but not without shooting Archer and Rin one last smug look.

Though she tried hard not to show it, Rin was worried that her ex-Servant would indeed turn her over to Shinji. Archer sensed this and said "You need not worry. I have no intention of giving you to him."

"Then what? Will you just leave me here?"

"For now. I will be back after I've dealt with Shirou. I have no intention of keeping you here and killing you would serve me no purpose. I suggest you stay out of this, if you want to live."

Rin was about to protest further but then thought better of it. If Archer was still anything like the boy she knew, he would not act dishonorably, or so she hoped.

As she watched, the knight in red turned and took his leave as well without another word. After he was gone, Rin started to struggle against her bonds. Now that she knew the truth about Archer's obsession with Shirou, she now realized that he would stop at nothing until he killed the boy so she had to find a way out of here quick. Rin regretted answering Archer's questions truthfully for in doing so, she had unwittingly signed Shirou's death warrant but even if she had lied, her ex-Servant would still have seen right through her and so the only thing that she could do now is escape and warn Shirou. And while Rin may have been tightly bound, she was not totally helpless; if she could get even one of her hands loose, she could cast a spell to release herself from the rest of her bonds.

However, she did not get far when she heard the door open again…

**A/N: Ok, I'm going to end this fic here since those who watched the UBW movie and played the VN already knows what happens next. If some of the words sounds a bit familiar, I borrowed them from the dubbed version of the UBW movie and used them to rewrite this scene with my own twists. The next installment will not be long in coming so look forward to it! ;)**


	4. More Than You Know

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fate/Stay Night or any of the Fate Series; they are all property of Type Moon. I write this for your enjoyment only. This fic is based on the 'good' ending of the UBW route, mostly Rin's memories of Archer and will contain some spoilers so if you have not played the VN, seen the movie, or anime version, I suggest you read no further. That said, enjoy and please review! ;)**

**More Than You Know**

Rin Tohsaka-Emiya sang softly to herself as she sat in front of her elegant wooden dressing table, brushing her long raven hair after having put on her make-up. Today was her tenth wedding anniversary and she patiently awaited the return of her husband from work so that they could celebrate. Looking at their wedding photo on her table, Rin smiled as she could not believe they had already been married ten years and are both now in their thirties, having married shortly after they completed their training with the Magic Association in London where they lived for a few years before returning to Japan. They now have three young children, two sons and a daughter, all of whom resembled their mother far more than their father and for good reason.

Over the years, Shirou's appearance changed drastically due to his more frequent and intense use of his magic circuits as well as projection and reinforcement abilities, making him resemble Rin's Servant from the 5th Holy Grail War for while he may not have taken the same tragic path Archer took, he did not want his gifts to go to waste, not while he could still use them for the good of humankind. And while Shirou's new exotic appearance often fascinated as well as intimidated other people, he remained perfect in the eyes of his wife: tall, broad-shouldered, strong, and handsome with his chiseled features, bronze skin, spiky white hair that sometimes fell over his forehead as well as his smoldering, steel-grey eyes. At six feet, four inches, Shirou easily towered over other men, a sharp contrast to the average height he was in his youth.

After the end of the grail war, Shirou and Rin, accompanied by Saber who had managed to remain in the human world due to her contract with Rin, went to London for Rin to further her magical studies while training Shirou to improve his own special powers- The Magic Association were especially interested in his unique Reality Marble. When they returned to Japan after graduation, the three of them moved into the Tohsaka family manor. After they married, Saber felt that she was no longer needed as much and yearned to go out into the world to explore and enjoy her new life. And although Rin and Shirou were sorry to see her go, they respected her wishes and gave Saber money as well as forging the necessary documents for her to travel before seeing her on her way but not before telling her that she would always be welcomed in their home should she ever chose to return. And she did; Saber would return to Japan many times to visit her friends over the years. In fact, the couple was expecting her back for another visit in a few weeks, just in time for Christmas. And from the latest letter she wrote Rin, much to her delight, Saber would also be bringing along a gentleman she claimed was her new boyfriend.

As she looked at her wedding photo, which was set in a beautiful oak frame and placed at the corner of her dressing table, Rin's mind wandered back to the final days of the 5th grail war and thought it strange how the man she was married to now wasn't Archer and yet he was- minus, much to her relief, the bitter, cynical personality and patronizing attitude of her former Servant. But considering what he had been through, Rin couldn't really blame him. While the man was insufferably arrogant, he was still a very competent warrior with a sense of honor even though he had a habit of keeping secrets and telling half-truths. And even though she'd die before she'd ever admit it, Rin thought that Archer was the most handsome man she had ever seen which was ironic considering that she had no problem saying so of her husband even though the two men were supposedly one and the same.

_Did you know that Shirou and I would end up together like this, Archer? _Rin wondered as she thought back to that fateful day…

"_Archer!" Rin called to the knight in red who turned to face her upon hearing her voice. Now that the Holy Grail was destroyed and he no longer had a Master, the Servant did not have much time left; it was a miracle that he had managed to stay long enough to help her and Shirou destroy the grail and defeat Gilgamesh. The young magus could see that his body was starting to become transparent and that it would not be long before he vanished completely from the human world. But despite everything that had happened between them, Rin was still loathed to see him go. _

"_Wait, don't go! Make a pact with me again…" she pleaded._

_The knight looked at her with a startled expression as if he were surprised she would even suggest such a thing after their shaky Master-Servant relationship._

"_I am sorry. I know what you are trying to do but I must say that I am not worthy nor do I have that right anymore. But more importantly, I'm done here; my fight is over, and I can finally leave this world with no regrets."_

"_But…" Rin began before stopping herself. She didn't need to say it; Archer already knew. With the Holy Grail and Gilgamesh gone, time had been altered and the Archer that she knew may cease to exist in future._

"_Rin…" he began gently. "I know what you're going to say. But you must understand that I do not belong in your world. My presence here will disrupt the timeline and deprive you of the future you so deserve. If you can find it in your heart to grant me one last favor, please watch over the me that remains in this world; as you can see, he's quite clueless."_

_As much as she hated to admit it, Rin knew Archer was right. There can be only one Shirou Emiya in this world. Trying her best to be strong, she put her head down and held back her tears. "I understand…I give you my word. I'll try my best to make him like himself and appreciate all that he has. And you should do the same too. I will miss you, Archer. You didn't have to do all of this, not for me."_

_Archer's expression softened as he gently took Rin's face in his hand, leaned forward, and gently kissed her on the lips before whispering in her ear._

"_For you, Rin. And for the boy that I was. He needs you, _I_ need you. More than you know…"_

_Though Archer was fading away, his body was still solid enough for Rin to feel his kiss and it made her feel dizzy and light-headed but she still heard every word he said._

"_I…I don't understand…"_

_"You will… in time…"_

_Those were his last words and Rin opened her eyes to see him one last time before he finally vanished from the world for good. And it was a sight she would never forget; Archer smiled as his white hair fell over his forehead, the smile of the boy she loved and the man she had saved._

"Rin?"

The young wife and mother of three turned as she heard the deep and smooth voice of her husband. So lost was she in her thoughts that Rin never heard Shirou walk into their room, dressed in a semi-casual black dress shirt and trousers while carrying a bouquet of red roses and a gift-wrapped box in his arms, her anniversary present, she assumed.

Rin smiled as she stood up, went over to her husband and embraced him.

"Happy Anniversary, my love. How long have you been standing there?"

Shirou smiled as he bent over and kissed his beautiful young wife. Like him, Rin also grew quite a bit in height since their adolescence even though not as much as himself as she was still a good eight inches shorter.

"Long enough" he teased. Where you thinking about something? You didn't even notice me come in."

"Actually, I was thinking about you…always you…"

"I see…I take it you're ready to go now? I've made reservations for us at that nice restaurant you've always wanted to try. But I'm not sure what to do about the kids."

"No need to worry, I've already sent them to Sakura's for the night." Rin answered with a wink.

Shirou laughed. "I see. You do think of everything do you, love?" Lowering his voice to a husky whisper, he added "It's good to know we can have some time alone tonight just for the two of us. Now shall we get going then?" he asked as he offered his arm to his wife.

"Of course. Let me grab my purse before I forget."

"Sure."

As the young couple left the room to enjoy the evening, Rin finally understood what Archer had been trying to tell her all those years ago. Because she had been there for Shirou, Rin had given him another reason to live besides his ideals so that he does not become the tragic hero Archer did. Because of her, Shirou learned to value his own life and live for himself and his family as well as others. And she was no longer sad or felt sorry for Archer.

Because he had never truly left her. He had been with her, all along. And always will be.

**A/N: Ok, the fourth installment done. I basically rewrote a part of the UBW visual novel ending but added my own twist to it which I always like to do to make my fics more interesting rather than parrot the actual dialogue word for word. I hope my readers find my version of UBW ending intriguing enough and since I am new to writing FSN fanfics, please go easy on me! ;)**


	5. His Saving Grace

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fate Stay Night or any of the Fate series; they are all property of Type Moon. I write this for your enjoyment only and I hope you like it! **** This installment is a post Fate/Zero fic that takes place a few years before FSN. I've decided that I want to explore the relationship that Kiritsugu had with Shirou in his early childhood since it was not shown much in the anime/manga. This story can also be a prequel to all three routes of the visual novel so enjoy and please review! ;)**

**His Saving Grace**

"Hey! Hey, old man!"

"Hmm?"

"If you're so tired, you're going to fall asleep. Why don't you just go to bed?"

"Huh?" Kiritsugu Emiya was snapped out of his thoughts as he turned and saw his adopted son looking at him with concern in his eyes. For a young child of twelve, Shirou was incredibly perceptive. "Oh, right!" the dark-haired mage laughed softly. The father and son pair were sitting on the front porch of their home watching the starry night sky and the full moon shining brightly in the sky.

"Are you all right, father?" Shirou asked.

_Father_

Kiritsugu never thought he would hear anyone call him that again. Although he loved Shirou dearly, he never forgot Ilyasviel, his real child, the daughter who was now lost to him forever. Over the last five years, he returned to Einzbern Castle many times but because he had failed to obtain the Holy Grail as well as protect Irisviel, the Einzberns prohibited Kiritsugu from seeing Ilya. He also suspected that they threw away the letters he had been writing to her as well, allowing Ilya to believe he abandoned her in favor of another child which was far from the truth. But the girl would never know that now because he was too ill to make any more attempts to see her, his last one being a year prior.

Even though every doctor he went to could find nothing wrong with him, Kiritsugu himself knew the cause of his illness, that the grail's curse was slowly consuming his body from within and he felt himself growing weaker with each passing day. But because he did not want his son to worry, Kiritsugu always pretended to be fine. He was able to hide it well at first but it became more and more difficult to keep doing so as Shirou got older, a tell-tale sign being his habit of wearing concealing clothing to hide his deteriorating body. He knew the boy could tell he wasn't being entirely truthful about his condition but made the attempt to reassure him just the same.

"I'm fine, really!" he insisted as he decided to change the subject. " You know, when I was little, I really wanted to be a hero."

Shirou raised an eyebrow at his father's revelation. "What are you talking about? You don't want to anymore? Did you just give up?" he asked curiously.

Kiritsugu nodded. "Yes, unfortunately" he admitted "it seems that wish has an expiration date. When you grow up, it's hard to call yourself one." As he said this, Kiritsugu laughed softly, as if he had just realized how childish and naive his lifelong dream was.

"I see… well, I guess there's nothing you can do about it now." Shirou said as his mind slowly processed what Kiritsugu had said. For as long as he could remember, his father spoke very little to him about his own past and wondered why he was being so open about his childhood dream now.

"Yeah… right, I guess not" Kiritsugu agreed as his mind started to wander again. "It really is a nice moon tonight…"

"Fine. Since you can't be a hero, I'm going to do it for you!"

Now _that _caught his attention!

"What?" Kiritsugu asked as he turned to his adopted son, his mind refusing to compute what he had just heard. He sincerely hoped that he had misheard Shirou or that the boy really didn't mean what he said.

No such luck.

"You're an adult now so you can't do it anymore. But I still can, so leave it up to me; I'll make it happen!"

Trying his best to smile, Kiritsugu gently patted his son on the head and said "All right. You do that. I can rest easy now. Anyway, it's getting late. Why don't you get inside and head on to bed? I'll be turning it too after I check the doors and windows. Now run along now!"

The boy obeyed as he smiled, got up, and went back inside the house. Out of gratitude as well as love and respect towards the man for saving his life that fateful day, Shirou never once disobeyed his father. As soon as the boy went inside, Kiritsugu got up and followed suit. When Shirou had finished brushing his teeth and crawled into bed, his father came to check up on him after he had completed his nightly routine of making sure all the doors and windows in the house were locked. It looked like the boy was more tired than he thought for he was fast asleep by the time Kiritsugu arrived but he couldn't blame him, he did work Shirou pretty hard today with his magicraft lessons.

As he quietly kneeled before his bed and gently tucked the sleeping Shirou in, Kiritsugu could not help but smile at the innocent face of the boy who was his saving grace, who was there for him during one of his darkest moments. As Kiritsugu gently stroked Shirou's soft auburn hair and kissed him on the forehead, his thoughts went back to the bloody final days of the last Holy Grail War. He remembered how he desperately tried to find someone, anyone to save from a disaster that he caused when he forced his Servant, Saber, to destroy the Holy Grail. Even now, Kiritsugu could still almost feel the fire searing his skin as he went from house to house in a frantic attempt to find survivors, the hot stones burning his hands and pieces of wood cutting into his flesh as he found a little boy, badly burned and barely clinging to life, buried in a pile of rubble. He remembered how he choose to save this unknown child instead of going after his most hated enemy, Kirei Kotomine, who was right in front of him, taunting him, and allowed the fake priest to simply walk away even though he, too, bore responsibility for the great fire.

But Kiritsugu did not regret letting Kirei go, not if it meant saving Shirou's life for the boy needed him so much more then he needed revenge against his enemy. As the years went by, Kiritsugu continued to watch Kirei from a distance but since the other man had kept a low profile and did not appear to cause any trouble, the ex-mage killer saw no reason to pursue him, choosing instead to devote his time to raising his new son. It was because of this one little boy that Kiritsugu had been able to maintain his sanity as well as his faith in himself and the rest of humanity. When he found Shirou, he felt as if he, too, had been saved and adopted the child as his own. As he had been so traumatized by the great fire, the little boy was unable to remember his life before it, the faces of his real parents, possible siblings, and even his real name was forgotten. So Kiritsugu gave him another one:

Shirou Emiya.

The name suited the boy well for Shirou was very much like Kiritsugu in his youth even though they were not blood-related. The boy may not have been his real son but Kiritsugu could not love him any more if he were. And while he may have laughed and smiled at Shirou's announcement to pursue his childhood dream in his place, deep down, Kiritsugu was worried. His life-long pursuit of an impossible ideal combined with his arrogance and belief that the ends always justifies the means was his downfall as well as costing him everything and everyone he held dear until he found Shirou. And the last thing he wanted was for his son to follow in his footsteps and worse, not even doing so of his own accord, but because he felt like he owed it to his adoptive father for saving his life.

_No, that must not happen… _he thought. As far as he was concerned, the boy owed him nothing since he was the one who caused the disaster that nearly killed him in the first place, never mind that his rival, Kirei, also played a part. Until now, he spoke very little of his past to his son. He had always intended to tell Shirou everything when he was old enough to understand, but feeling his health deteriorate made Kiritsugu realize that he would not live long enough to see his son grow to manhood. So there was only one thing he could do now…

Getting up, Kiritsugu left the room and quietly closed the door to Shirou's bedroom before heading to his own. After pulling out the chair to his desk and sitting down, the ex-mage killer opened one of the drawers and pulled out a pad of paper. Setting the paper down on the smooth wooden surface of his desk, Kirtisugu took a pen and prepared to write his son a letter, trying his best to ignore the temptation desist. He knew it would be so much easier to simply carry his secret to the grave and let Shirou live out his whole life never knowing who really caused the fire that scarred him for life. But Kiritsugu knew that would be a cowardly thing to do as well as unfair to his son. After everything he had suffered, Shirou deserved, no, had the _right_ to know what kind of person the man he called 'father' was. It was Kiritsugu's obligation to tell his adoptive son the truth, even if it meant the boy ended up despising him for it.

Knowing that Shirou knew very little about the history of mages and magic as well as nothing of the Holy Grail Wars, Kiritsugu tried to keep his letter as simple as possible while remaining as truthful as he could so that his son would not be confused or overwhelmed by his confession. Setting his pen to paper, he began to write.

_To my treasured son,_

_I hope this letter finds you well, Shirou. By now, I'm sure that you have become a fine young man and I am sorry that I could not stick around long enough to watch you grow up. I have been unwell even before the day I found you in that fire and regret that I have tried to keep it from you. But I'm sure you already knew that as you are more perceptive then I gave you credit for. I must confess that I was not suffering from illness as you have probably believed; I was being punished for my actions that caused countless people to suffer, including the ones dearest to me. My arrogance as well as blind and dogged pursuit of my impossible ideals costed me my closest friends, my beloved wife, Irisviel, and our precious daughter, Ilya. I wish I could tell you everything in way that you would understand but that would take a lifetime and unfortunately, my time in this world is growing short. My strength has left me, my magic circuits are now useless, and sometimes I have difficulty doing even the most mundane things. I am no longer the mage and fighter I was but I am not sorry for it because I had you. If I had not found you that fateful day, it was very likely I would have gone mad with grief and died right then and there. But finding you alive in that pile of rubble and raising you these past five years has been the closest thing to redemption I could ever hope for and while I may have regretted my whole life before that, I do not regret saving you, even if it meant letting my worst enemy get away. I hope that you will forgive this delay; I have always intended to tell you the truth when you were old enough to understand but I am forced to accept the reality that I will not live long enough to see that happen so I have decided to write you this letter because I feel that you have the right to know, even if you end up hating me for it. Shirou, I could never tell you this while you were still a child, but it was I who caused the disaster that wiped out your home and any family you might have had. I was involved in a conflict with other magi and our battles resulted in that great catastrophe where thousands of innocent lives were lost- all because of one wrong decision that I made. This knowledge has haunted and tormented me more than anything anyone else could have done to me and I would give anything if I could go back and change it but I know that's not possible. I can't even begin to beg your forgiveness and I know that no apology can ever be enough. The most I ask is for you to understand. But even if you don't, it's all right because I do not deserve even that. While you may feel grateful to me for saving your life that day, know that I owe you so much more, Shirou. All I ask is that you not repeat my mistakes and walk down the same tragic path I did for you deserve so much better than that. You have been my saving grace and I will always love you, child of my heart, if not of my blood._

_Your loving father, Kiritsugu Emiya._

After he had finished the letter and made sure he said everything that needed to be said, Kiritsugu neatly folded the paper and placed it in an envelope. After he had sealed it, he wrote Shirou's name in the front. Tomorrow, he would give it to Taiga Fujimura, the girl he had chosen as his son's secondary caretaker with a request that she keep the letter secret and not give it to Shirou himself until his eighteenth birthday, about six years from now. Placing the newly sealed letter in his desk drawer, Kiritsugu got up and walked to his bedroom window to gaze at the full moon one more time before heading to bed. Pushing back the sleeve of his yukata, he raised his arm to the light to examine the red blotches on his pale and desiccated skin and from the looks of it, Kiritsugu knew he didn't have much time left. True to Angra Mainyu's word, he was dying and even though he could not change what happened, the ex-mage killer still felt that writing the letter to his son had lifted a great weight from his heart. His greatest hope for Shirou was that the boy live as normal a life as possible. And even if he chose to pursue his ideals, Kiritsugu would be fine with that too as long as the boy also lived for himself as well as those he loved and cared for.

In any case, it was no longer in his hands. All he could do now, was hope.

**A/N: Ok, I'm going to end it right here. I may write a sequel to this but it will have to be in a separate installment because I don't want any of my drabbles to be too long or end up being two stories. I hope I've portrayed Kiritsugu's thoughts and feelings well since it's been a while since I've seen Fate/Zero. I hope my reviewers will go easy on me! ;) See you next story!**


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